List Of Laws

The Official List Of Laws for the ACOJ

  1. You must obey the president and all of his laws
  2. Because this is a democracy, a presidential election will take place every 4 years, but you are legally required to vote for Jay or you will be killed, and your vote will be marked as null.
  3. The president creates all the laws and the counsel is there to enforce the rules, help with ideas, and, prepare stuff.
  4. Jay has the ability to change basic human rights at any time
  5. Do not kill the president
  6. Do not harm the president in any way
  7. Jay has the ability to change these laws at any time
  8. Any counsel member who breaks any other of these laws will be kicked from the counsel, judged, and punished accordingly
  9. Any lesser citizen who breaks any other of these laws will be judged, and punished accordingly
  10. Any citizen whom sees a pizza lying in a field must force the next person they see drinking a glass of milk to eat it.
  11. Whenever a song made by the band "Queen" begins to play, the listener(s) must pretend to photosynthesize for the first 5 seconds of listening.
  12. Any anti-government propaganda is not allowed
  13. Your privacy will be protected, and sent forms of communication (I.E letters, texts, phone calls, voicemails) will not be scanned, unless the government is prompted to do so
  14. If you wish to end the life of any free citizen you must make a list with the pros and cons (Pros must outweigh cons) and submit it to the government, then you will be allowed to kill the specified victim.
  15. If your vision focuses on a clock (not digital) for more than 10 seconds, you must count to 5 without messing up or else you will be sent to court; If your case fails you will be sentenced to either death or full life sentence.
  16. Any egregious amount of effort put forth into tasks not permitted by the council of the ACOJ are a severe act of treason, and punishable by death.
  17. The act of cheek clapping within The Temple of The False God is strictly enforced, with regulations spanning from two to twenty-five claps per service.
  18. Neck gloves are homo, period, no discussion.
  19. No summoning Sea Bears within a one mile radius of the capital building
  20. No listening to Elton John on Wednesdays during Russian cult meetings.
  21. Eat apples top to bottom, no more of this side ways nonsense.
  22. No Blender in Jayland, if you have it death will be administrated by Devon.
  23. If you listen to a song more than once in one sitting, you will be executed.
  24. ACOJ can throw anyone over the fence if a majority vote is met in the council of ACOJ or if Jay says so.
  25. No parking cars on any sandwiches, penalty is death and a meme.
  26. Squirrels and squirrel food are not allowed near any of the churches within a 20 mile radius of the capital building.
  27. No singing the Peppa Pig theme song around other people. No exceptions.
  28. No citizens are allowed to give Alan the ability to break any of the rules from the "Things Alan Cant Do" list.
  29. The ACOJ subways are forced to always have their "Five Dollar Foot Long" promotions
  30. The act of necromancy is not illegal, but it is illegal to use around Jay
  31. Dabbing is illegal, no exceptions
  32. You can legally go missing, Just try not to inconvenience the police force too much.
  33. Do not counterfeit pepperonis.
  34. Do not slap a bald man's head as if it were a congo
  35. No eating shaving cream, no one likes the taste
  36. Troy is to be known as 'The Cheater' for all eternity. NO EXCEPTIONS
  37. Alan is to be immortal as to comply with Law #36.
  38. Horseradish is illegal, anyone found in possession of it will be executed.
  39. French people are banned from the autocracy, this only applies to people born in France.
  40. For every clutch of eggs laid by a chicken, one must be force-fed, raw, to the nearest child.
  41. Every unattended child in Jayland will receive an espresso and a free puppy.
  42. You must follow the official The Official Jayland Pledge of Allegiance
  43. Reposting Memes from reddit is considered a war crime and those who do so will be exiled
  44. It is illegal to sell globes with corners, stop it. you're not funny.
  45. Eels cannot be handled in a suspicious manner
  46. Hamsters are to be treated with the utmost respect. I'm looking at you Brendan
  47. "Finders Keepers" is not a rule in the ACOJ, and spreading knowledge that it is is strictly forbidden
  48. It is illegal for an unwed woman to skydive on sunday.
  49. Throwing a flashbang into the council members sleeping quarters is not a prank, it is a crime.
  50. Overpopulation is not an excuse for "Purge" we are not starting the "Purge".
  51. Angry false god Alan is a good reason for the "Purge", we are definitely starting the "Purge".
  52. Jay is forever the ruler of Jayland but, if say a agreement with Jay and the Council comes to make someone else ruler for a hour it can be done. Their power is limited though and Jay still out ranks them.
  53. Jayden is not allowed to have anything even remotely possibly dangerous.
  54. Jayden can no longer spend trillions or even billions of dollars on ice cream.
  55. Jay is the official name of the leader, like Czar or Caesar.
  56. If a subject is attached to a polygraph machine and detects the scent of ramen, upon the detection a major heart rate change they must be instated within the witness protection system.
  57. Jayden is not allowed to do anything featured on This list
  58. Not being alive in Jayland Is punishable by death.
  59. Not being dead in Jayland is punishable by life.
  60. "Monday" is not an excuse to fire the nukes.
  61. Screaming the word "Eggs"In public at 3:15 is not mandatory, however it is recommended.
  62. Dora the Explorer is banned, no exceptions.
  63. White castle is banned on order of 3 council members.
  64. Any clock that is not analog shall be changed to 4:20 a.m. forever.
  65. All Citizens must be at least have some knowledge on the game Doom, if not you will be exiled.(This only applies to citizens not Jay or the Council) If you don't know anything about doom than read Alan's profile pageluxinine
  66. Doom 3 never happened
  67. Purge time
  68. Any mention of [redacted] is not allowed near Jay
  69. No taking council members hats.
  70. The raw consumption of eel skin is prohibited.
  71. Cursing children is only permitted at exactly 7:06 as it would be 6:66 if the minute lasted longer.
  72. Calling Doomguy/Doom Slayer a Halo guy is punishable by death of the same degree as Troy's. Just so you know one of the guys who made Doom went and made Halo so you better freaking thank Doom.
  73. Jayden is not allowed to make laws in other languages, critic fonts, binary, or morose code. If you see one on this list immediately report it
  74. no man spreading at a table with others
  75. Alan is allowed to bully Brendan.
  76. No one can lose his power in the Counsel unless they do a horrible act that effects JayLand (Jayden) or Jay says so. Counsel has no say.
  77. No editing laws unless that person says so or if they edit it. Jay and Lucas can alter all!!!
  78. Have you heard of the High Elves
  79. If you are in the Counsel Member you must have a copy of Todd Howard in order to prove. To obtain one please visit Brendan if he hasn't given you one.
  80. Attention: If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call (858)924-0810 today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! (858)924-0180
  81. Do not break law 80
  82. "Jamaica, we've Got a Bobsled Team" and "nuff' people said they know they can't believe" are two phrases that are illegal to say in the counsel building unless you are a class C or above member of Jayland, or have consent from at least 1 council member
  83. Using Hypnosis to "Clear people's minds of anything that doesn't have to do with fine dining or breathing" is strictly prohibited.
  84. To people who keep telling me that lucas has an evil plan to take me over, I know, he's told me his entire plan in great detail, and no, I don't need anyone to help me stop him because I probably won't stop him. -Jay In compliance with this statement it is illegal to try to stop lucas' plan.(My plan is not evil-Lucas)
  85. All conflicts/disagreements must be fought via a good ol' fashioned game of Kingdoms where the winner… um… wins
  86. Jayden is no longer allowed to kill anyone (even in self defense) without direct permission from Jay himself.
  87. Jayden's plane being mentioned is now a federal offense, as are the other mistakes we have made.
  88. For general safety of the council, scp-096's nude photos are not to be posted in the castle that we are apparently all in.
  89. SCP speed dating never happened, if you remember such a thing happening find your nearest foundation site and try to break in, they will shoot you and you won't remember, because your dead.
  90. No one can edit laws with their name in it without direct permission from Jay. (Jayden, Brendon, Lucas, Gabe, Alan,Devon)
  91. Because of the incident, no citizen is allowed to try and clone peanut butter.
  92. "You wouldn't Understand" is no longer an appropriate answer to the question, "What's wrong?"
  93. The punishment of "Lego stepping" is not to be enforced outside of the council building.
  94. Cow tipping is not illegal, and enforcing that it is, is strictly prohibited, go wild you crazy kids.
  95. "Fine Dining" is not an excuse for the legalization of cannibalism
  96. All books on how to pick locks are to be donated to the local orphanage, soon those orphans will make their escape. Go orphans go!
  97. This law is in place so that Devon can leave his father Brendan.
  98. Wyatt can not do anything that is not approved by any of the council, mainly Alan, Gabe, Jay, and Lucas tho.
  99. Law 99 is legally not to be changed to any other law, in other words, law 99 is law 99.
  100. No one can even think to want to do more of thinking on something when something is somewhere in the middle of the nowhere when that someone in somewhere is thinking of that something while toying with his thing which is in the something of somewhere in the country of somehing under a thing full of stuff which was found to be something but you can't even do that thing while even wanting to go out and do more like (Law decided by contest)
  101. no - day is illegal it can not be made a law by Brendan.
  102. No cutting in line
  103. I'm gonna cut in line
  104. Everyone must drink Devon's milk, he is the milk man, no ifs and or buts about it
  105. No homo is a valid excuse for doing something objectivley homo
  106. All civil wars are back on. -Lucas
  107. When discussing the subject of the organism with the black and white stripes with a stature like a horse, you are not allowed to say the name of said organism.
  108. You are not allowed to say "There are more laws on this list than I can shake a stick at"
  109. Mediocre Clarinet Playing is strictly prohibited and is punishable by death
  110. Ceiling fans are not to be regarded as a vegitable
  111. stop eating Ceiling fans
  112. Do not make an X on a map connecting the borders to reveal the true location of Jayland.
  113. No free gift card giveaways.
  114. Please do not make a law typing like this.
  115. Tiktok is banned (No really [Do not download it {Stop i'm not kidding}])
  116. ? Do not speak trash of doom around several of the counsel members, this is not a law, just a warning!
  117. IMMEDIATE action is required, Lucas is now taking dual enrollment classes like a try hard.
  118. Following the The awakeing no more summoning of old gods to prove that otters/and or dolphins rule the world in secret.
  119. bring your child to counsel day is not to be canceled in any emergency.
  120. Biological warfare is prohibited. Biological and genetically modified soldiers are allowed.
  121. Lethal chemical weapons are banned, no exceptions.
  122. No atomic weapons, atomic powered weapons are allowed.
  123. All of Troy's legion's training is playing overwatch.
  124. No weapons of mass destruction.
  125. VHS tapes are not to be held up to your eyes while you say "Beep boop"
  126. children under 14 are not to be associated with unless your full name consist of 3 c's and 1 e. note: this rule does not apply to those with relatives under 14.
  127. Now this isn't a law but doesn't the law above this look like it was written by a certain peasent who has 3 c's and 1 e in his name? hmmm I wonder
  128. Covid-19 is not a legal excuse to destroy the nearby countries with your planes, bombs, ice cream, etc.
  129. Don't steal any counsel members kneecaps
  130. jaycob will not be told to reticulate the spline but jacob…. you gotta.
  131. jacob is now and forever in charge of the only daycare. he also is the head principle for middle and high school
  132. Next time counsel members wish to argue do not make a random string of laws please
  133. Nobody in the counsel is a Krusty Krab.
  134. Saying "Hey, Vsauce" is not a way to channel ancient spirits.
  135. "Low fi beats" is not an excuse for the execution of several horses.
  136. Guys, stop bullying the nuns. I don't even know where they came from, what are they doing here
  137. "The search for miracle man" Is not an excuse to spy on sunbathing old women
  138. You can underline your laws, you can italic your laws, you can strike through your laws, but no bolding unless its a competition law please
  139. Just because you lost all your baby teeth does not mean you are now mature enough to be in the counsel.
  140. If anyone on the streets sees a snail named gary, he is to be sent home immediately.
  141. The (The?)
  142. "Are you new?" Is now a mandatory greeting.
  143. Marching Band is a sport, no arguing it either
  144. Maps in general are banned no exceptions.
  145. The English language is a very bad language and should be considered as such
  146. Tuesday is no longer a day on the calendar. If your calendar has tuesdays on it, it is wrong
  147. Yeah I get to make law 150 so it will be, intercepted this law is no that no tacos shall be eaten on any day other than tuesday.
  148. Hershey chocolate bars are prohibited while inside a truck with 3+ wheels
  149. eating white chocolate is illegal if traveling faster than the speed of sound or light
  150. why is everyone late-jaycub
  151. no you're just early-duvin
  152. Everyone who clicks this link shall be killed Don't
  153. stop breaking law 69
  154. Anyone who has not watched the "Disclaimer Song" from Unnus Annus shall be punished accordingly. Disclaimer Song
  155. Everyone shall listen to Devon's mixtape on October 9th every year
  156. Everyone must follow mommy's rules on This page
  157. The definition of "Fire" is to legally be changed to "Devon's Mixtape"
  158. Watch carefully… … … … … … … … … … . . … … … … … … . . Now Choose
  159. Google Feud is a Christmas Tradition no if, and, or buts about it.
  160. All offensive gestures that alan may say should now be slightly altered to "glass of juice"
  161. if you look at the homies after kissing them good night you are mad sus
  162. Who's is talking about Alan on Snapchat. It was I! Who is I?
  163. The counsel will no longer have discussions on whether to ban dust or not.
  164. If a council member in Jayland were to pass, they would be taxidermied and put up for display in the capital.
  165. A formal investigation will be held for who is in love with the internet, tech supporter, scammer, I.T. guy, from india.
  166. "Romans, go home" is not to be spray painted all over the castle, you are not the Hebrews and we are not the Romans.
  167. saying ''its just a prank" justifies any wrong that you did
  168. the law above can only be used thrice a day
  169. stop touching bees while screaming " Thinking bee!,Thinking bee!"
  170. it is illegal to inject spiders with harmful diseases and throw them at people just because they don't have a mask on
  171. if jaycub calls you a peasant it is worse than being cursed out in every language
  172. This page is very important
  173. Watch Aaron read a book.
  174. restaurants must not be canned
  175. Can openers shall also not be canned.
  176. Arguments carried out where both sides are angrily agreeing with each other shall not be carried out between the hours of 5pm and 6pm on Sunday.
  177. The town named "Simp city" shall not be established in Jayland
  178. There is a certain movie that must not be mentioned in the laws that Jacob likes. The movie in particular involves children. Ask Jay for details.
  179. Brendan's Rights cannot be toke away unless needed by Jay or it would be fun
  180. jaycub does not have equivalent rights due to his pigmentation differences
  181. Alan's car is not a place to watch the aforementioned movie
  182. it is however a place to inhale vapor
  183. The law before this law is voided, Alan's car is not for anything of that sort or anything like it.
  184. By order of Jay, Jacobs name is now jaycub
  185. Plaid is not a color, no arguing it. If you disagree then you are wrong and shall be punished accordingly
  186. i believe the law above is racist towards the plaid colored community
  187. racism is not allowed
  188. There is one exception to the law above it is if you say it is for BLM then you can commit any crime, including racism, robbery, murder, etc.( except for loitering, that's illegal under all circumstances.)
  189. Exception #2 The people born in france
  190. Priceland never happened if spoken of you will be grabbed by the flagellum and be thrown out of a truck with 3 wheels moving at the speed of sound
  191. Devon may own as many cows as he wants for his milk business, as long as they're not "Cows" aka meat from beefy boy
  192. Outside Jokes shall remain inside if the inside of the joke is not supposed to be on the outside with the exception of inside jokes intentionally put on the outside.
  193. Nobody shall make anymore timezones lest they get locked in the locker room
  194. Ramen is to be the national food of Jayland
  195. if a member of jayland loses "it" then they will live forever feeling nothing except for pain and disappointment
  196. Jayland must always be capitalized when mentioned outside of the website(punishable by doing extra DGP)
  197. The Jayland labs are not to be used to develop a "Covid Twenty"
  198. Everybody must, including jay, ask jaycub to remove his hat
  199. boy is now spelled (boye)
  200. The bee is the new national bird, and upon seeing one you must ask the person physically closest to you if they like jazz. (Law decided by CONTEST)
  201. ela is not important therefore it is not taught in any of the schools in jayland (expect for the national ELA academy, which if Alan does bad things we send him to for a week. They teach nothing but ELA and have mandatory mass on sundays. Not for Alan's religion.)
  202. Wyatt is to be exiled at least 40 times a second.
  203. The Jayland labs must be used to develop a "Covid Twenty-one", we must get ahead of the curve.
  204. I may have already of made Covid-20
  205. It is now illegal to pronounce Jay's name Juh, if you do than Jay will cry and run away, then you will be executed, unless you want to die then you wont be executed.
  206. Jayden's not allowed to break any more laws.
  207. The Law That Never Ends -Jay hates this law but the people have spoken I guess
  208. when getting someone's attention you must say WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP if they do not turn around they are considered a canned human being
  209. Geometry books are banned because they are threatening to Jay
  210. counsel members must say something in the chat between the hours of 12:25 and 3:00
  211. if you do not comply with this law you will have the title of white trash
  212. If anything bad happens ever, it's Alan's fault.
  213. You are not ready
  214. From now on any and all agreements are to be settled by firing siege weapons at recreations of Noah's ark, whoever hits the most animals is the winner.
  215. You can't handle the truth
  216. It is illegal to consider the lobster while severing certain body parts from yourself
  217. Housing a chicken inside an Orphanage to force-feed the children is strongly looked down upon but technically not illegal. However if in a home with children in it, it is looked strongly up upon, almost saluted.
  218. "64 bits, 32 bits, 16 bits, 8 bits, 4 bits, 2 bits, 1 bit, half bit, quarter bit, the wrist game!" Is not to be screamed in the capital building.
  219. something legally illegal is not legal unless legalised by the council to be illegal and it goes without saying that unprohibited prohibition is prohibited
  220. well well well, look its the person that failed no simp september yea im talking about you SIMP (Yeah Yeah I get it)
  221. When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor doctoring wants to doctor, or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor as the doctor being doctored want to doctor? I, Alan, shall say this law was by Jayden Sisk
  222. are ya ready kids?
  223. If a petition reaches 4 council signatures than it will become a law.
  224. Next time Jayden Sisk needs at least 2 people to approve his laws not just Alan.
  225. I'll give you points for the crab it's the worst thing i've eaten
  226. No one is allowed to know of Operation 42s objective and measures to achieve it.(Unless you acquire the password from Alan)
  227. stop trying to get owls dizzy
  228. Breaking a piece off a blender to give to Jay as what you called a "JOKE" shall be punished with Chinese Water Torture.
  229. you are not allowed to stone someone just because he/she said Jehovah
  230. Do not say that your bones are cold, I have learned my lesson and was punished very much :(
  231. All information about the "Claffis Coup" is to be silenced.
  232. stop referring to the kool kids klub as the KKK
  233. is it cold or is it just me ;)
  234. Jaycub is not to use his necronomicon to summon the following, The demon of wrath, The demon of destruction or the demon of seduction
  235. oops!
  236. Stabbing someone is prohibited unless given permission of the council or you are stabbing Wyatt, in that case it's ok
  237. The consumption of any non-food substance will not be punished but you may die.(Sorry to all those people who ate that glowing green sticks of ████████████)
  238. Someone should tell Jay what the glowing sticks of ████████████ are.
  239. when?
  240. Bringing Justice to America
  241. Jaycub is not allowed to look at or be within 50 ft of children under the age of 14, that's right I restricted it even further than they did and I am not a peasant, that other person probably was tho. (hah take that Jaycub the law still stands stronger than ever)
  242. The information of what ███████████ is will be disclosed when Jay askes Alan
  243. After much consideration we have decided to erect a statue of Aaron made from a 3D Printer in full color and a Plaque at the bottom with the title "The One Man Band" on it.
  244. stop serving fried chicken if it's still alive
  245. Orangutans are to no longer be used as catapult ammo.
  246. Creating a black hole is prohibited within Jayland, and anyone who breaks this rule will undergo the most severe punishment. Being burned at the stake while people dance around you singing Ring-around-a-Rosie. Except for Alan.
  247. If you find a dead body in a cemetery, leave it. Or take it. We don’t care.
  248. Shooting someone with an arrow is an acceptable form of social distanced stabbing.
  249. big beefy individuals must be kept in glass cylinders for scientific purposes
  250. Bowls of cereal are not to be consumed off of the human body except at 2:47 on a wednesday morning in the spring time during the month of february
  251. you are not to play dumb by saying “it wont work” when you can easily restart your game to play with a friend
  252. if you are a member of jayland and support any political candidate for anything other than Jay, you will be drawn and quartered and have most of your intestines replaced with glizzy's and the occasional lump of mashed potatoes. (Pals were not gonna ruin this site with irl politics.)
  253. No IRL political arguments
  254. Involuntary pooping in jayland on the month of september will be considered a hate crime and punishment will include eating 3 pounds of solid milk and cheese without the chance of a clean pair of pants
  255. if you are to walk naked in public than you will be watched with great interest and intensity
  256. putting cameras in your neighbors bathroom is recommended but not entirely forced
  257. taking your neighbors cameras out of your bathroom is considered a hate crime, the following punishment will include but is not limited to considering the lobster
  258. to minimize money loss both intended items in law 41 will be combined into one item weather it looks more like a dog or an espresso
  259. it is illegal to kill, capture, or take a picture of Bigfoot
  260. It is legal to take a photo of Bigfoot under one condition, it has to be a wedding photo of you and the bigfoot.
  261. Wearing red legally obligates you to become a lobster
  262. "Ar Ar Ar" is not a racial insult
  263. It can be considered an insult of your profession if said profession is a pirate.
  264. Everyone must now keep at least one picture of a Proboscis Monkey on their mobile device “just in case”, and we will randomly search your phone for said picture(s).
  265. Piracy(all possible forms) is legal as long as you have the proper permits.
  266. You may publish anti-Alan propaganda but if any person sees you doing it they have a moral obligation to submit a form requesting for your immediate burning at the stake.
  267. Never, ever, ever, do the thing I am about to describe in great detail, here it comes, it is the worst crime possible, so don't you ever do it, if you do then you will referenced immortal by Alan and then burnt at the stake for all eternity, so if you do it then that would be bad, so don't do it, ok, now I will describe this terrible awful thing that you should never, ever do, it's… uh… I forget.
  268. On the last tuesday of the first month of the 22nd year after the 2008 year after the year of 0 A.D. you can continue to try to make owls dizzy.
  269. Law 269 is not to be used as joke material unless you meet the following qualifications, 1.Being Alan or 2. The joke must be about the number not the number within it aka 69.
  270. Each council member has a certain card if a member loses said card he\thot will be either kicked from council or forced to take a video of themselves considering the lobster
  271. From here on out no law will include the backwards slash mark or this \ (exceptions may include being made before this law, being dumb, and being above the law a.k.a no one)
  272. Devon is officially above law 271 \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
  273. No matter what anyone says Alan does not have an addiction currently to Hypixel Skyblock, think so will result in death by blunt hits to the eyeball.
  274. I declare Lucas' side of the civil war to be victorious, as Bredons side was kicked for inactivity.
  275. You are not to train bees to beat their wings in tune to Hedwig's theme from Harry Potter.
  276. You are not allowed to order your own personal army to sidge the council's castle and then yell "The dawn will take you all" and ride down your own army with another council members army on horseback.
  277. Under no circumstance shall you ever, ever [redacted] without considering the lobster first.
  278. Jay, do the thing. (The thing is not annexing Colorado.)
  279. You are not to harm the president emotionally.
  280. You are not to eat cheese on the third wednesday of the second month of the 3,000th year.
  281. It is illegal to break any laws.
  282. Expect for this one, you can break it this one.
  283. That last one was trick, it was still illegal, off to jail with you.
  284. Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead.
  285. Not yet
  286. Hockey is the best sport, hands down.
  287. Super mega Kaiju fights is to be cancelled after the last episode crack the earth's crust.
  288. Jay is above the law.
  289. The Law
  290. Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for me not for you
  291. where's my drink
  292. how am i supposed to eat this pizza without my drink
  293. females with male things are considered to be not straight no exceptions
  294. baked beans are to be refried, never boiled
  295. considering the lobster is not ideal for public display but is strongly enforced by jayland staff
  296. it is illegal to name your child big chungus unless he is 3x over his healthy weight
  297. thank giving is to start with 20 tons of mashed potatoes dumped on a fine china plate and force fed to the nearest vietnam vet
  298. AR-15 is not to be called an assault rife, it is to be called its actual name, the Armalite Model Rifle 15
  299. alans monga stash is to be heavily guarded at all times by large men wielding ak-47's and moderate goneria
  300. law will be decided by contest
  301. every bald individual must me slapped on the back of the head 27 times by 6 different men of different race on the 247th day of every leap year
  302. hitting the quan, whip nae naeing, and stanky legging will have you sent to the correctional facility, along with playing fortnite
  303. turn down
  304. for what?
  305. still no pickles
  306. lightspaming and playing shugoki is punishable by death and will be dealt with immediately
  307. no licking the peanut butter man, no seriously you don't know where he's been
  308. the sport of hunting gingers will cease to exist, really guys there's only 2% of us left, plz leave my pple alone
  309. if you steal then good for you,you deserve it after not getting caught in the act of stealing that particular item, you go you
  310. schools will now receive computers with solitaire so teachers will stop trying to force feed children textbooks
  311. how many
  312. nickelodeon has agreed to help manage our streets, STAY INSIDE
  313. dont, just dont
  314. daddy no
  315. DADDY YES
  316. the trident of neptune is to be hidden inside a labrador until we know how to melt it down
  317. they always ask what are the laws, but they never ask how are the laws :(
  318. homeless people are to be thrown into buckets of ramen and yelled at by mexican women to get a job and stop being lazy
  319. dont do drugs, unless you buy them from the government official, jaycub
  320. sward canons for home defence are not illegal but strongly suggested, with the right permits
  321. It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” correctly
  322. Having lovely relations with a porcupine is illegal
  323. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday
  324. If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one day
  325. It is illegal to collect and carry away seaweed at the beach, but only on wednesdays
  326. One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place
  327. It is slightly suggested to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway
  328. Persons convicted of felonies may not operate Bingo games
  329. Those under 21 can consider the lobster, but they must be enrolled in a program to proceed
  330. No one may catch a fish with his/her feet
  331. Hitting a vending machine that stole your money is illegal, unless suplexed
  332. Persons may not swear while on the toilet, failure to comply will result in immediate siege of the establishment you are taking hold in
  333. It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have relations with a bar stool
  334. No person may bite off another's sandwich
  335. every day must be started out with jaylands delicious nutritious jayflakes, made from real dandruff from our glorious leader jay
  336. milk must be bought on every thursday
  337. no hiding certain individuals of a certain race and religion in ones attic
  338. no doing the do, its illegal
  339. the northwestern quadrant of jayland is reserved for the use of jaylands weird but special military, failure to keep out of the region will result in death by very poor aimed slavs with vodka and Ak-47s

More laws will be added in the future but these are all that we could think of

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