The Squelchening

Have you ever felt so unbelievably disgusted at a noise? This factor is a recurring phenomena known only to a select few humans. While some people feel a great disturbance in the presence of an uncomfortable sound, The Squelchening is unobservable to the common man. Furries, nekos, and scalies are the only people known to observe this, along with people who actively deny it, presumably to cover up their horrible freaky attributes. The Squelchening is exactly as its written, squelch, even the word makes me want to vomit. I can't honestly hear this sound without feeling like my eardrum is being scraped with an iron needle. I hate my life because this sound exists. If you hear this, you will know, there is no future in store for you. I hear it in my dreams, they use it in cartoons, supposedly to cause a midlife crisis in the most self denying of people. If I hear one more stupid Nickelodeon squelch sound effect I'll swear off life for all people and become the next Hitler.

-Formally yours,
A disgusted Furry.

It was finished, my formal complaint to the other Council members on the island. I looked at my computer screen, shivering at the memory of the noise. I checked the time, 2 minutes to 11. I walked down the hall, clicking my feet as I went, looking for the door occluded amongst the stone. Aha! The hidden door opened to Jay's office. Puzzling, it was empty, I checked the bathroom, the balcony, even the trapdoor for smuggled goods. Empty. I laid it on his desk and returned to my personal quarters.

The next night, I awoke in my bed… only to find Jay hovering over my face! I screamed and he leaned in pressing his finger to my mouth, "ssssssssssshhhhhhhhh." He started moving his hand away, and he told me we had to leave as it wasnt safe to talk there. I followed him over to the corner of my room where he revealed a hidden wall. I followed him into a secret laboratory! I looked around, puzzled by all the electronic servers set up along the walls.

" Nickelodeon is always listening, I keep this here as a backup location, you need to take down your complaint, before they can find it and take the webpa-"

End of Log, sponsored by Nickelodeon


Well, I guess this could have gone a lot better. As I write this, I stand over the corpses of 4 dead Nickelodeon staff members. They had been expecting us, that safe-room had been rigged with high explosives like some Catholic church video. I woke up in this chair, almost looked like a dentist's chair. It was covered in blood as well as the towel that adorned my chest. My white shirt had been permanently stained with nearly a gallon of my own blood. Jay wasn't much better off at the far end of the room. It took nearly a half hour to get out of those cuffs, and I think I broke my left wrist. Why would they make cat handcuffs???

Well when I got across the room to Jay, it took me a second to rouse him from his sleep. I got most of his story and apparently his all powerful skull implant was able to stop most of the force after they hit him with a baseball bat. I helped him out of the chair and started down the hall out of the room with him, it was surprisingly unlocked. That's when we saw… them. They looked like they didn't have faces, well no, almost like their faces were occluded with a layer of skin. We could see their eyes, nose and mouths move under their face. I didn't hesitate, I dropped the one in front of Jay with a left hook but he took me down with him. I pulled him back with me… only for him to disappear into thin air. Jay saw it too, if I'm crazy, then everyone is. It wasn't long before we found the security room, these 4 brutes were watching the cameras, watching us approach, but they didn't even turn around. I grabbed the one ready to pummel him, but his face-Oh god his face-was like he had been run over with a lawnmower. All 4 of them, just mutilated beyond repair.

We've been looking around and we're going to make a break for the docks, we can see them on the camera feed, but those things, they stalk the halls all over this place. Oh god. They're coming.

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